Saturday, February 9, 2008

Tenth Treatment Day

I took 30 mg of prednisone today instead of the 20. May be foolish. But, convinced myself that as I have been tapering down, things were starting to come back. Like the ulcerations beneath my tongue, for example. I didn't regret it, as I can see noticeable change, even since yesterday. My tongue is flattening out. I can only compare the difference to an unmade bed that has now been made. Another example would be that it previously was like an unruly front lawn, and now someone came in, mowed it and made it all clean and neat. Though I still have white stuff on the top and striations underneath. My gums don't feel so sore, either.

I think I need to be more diligent with the Clobetasol gel, though. I forgot to use it today. In fact, I can't find it, now that I've looked for it. Odd.

Finally slept a good night's sleep. My ENT had changed my allergy prescription from Claritin to Zyzal, and I hadn't taken my first Zyzal until last night. Claritin can be taken in the daytime. But, Zyzal is supposed to be taken at night as it has a tendency to make one sleepy. I can't complain! I slept.

Energy was great today, without feeling hyped up. I wish I could feel that way every day. I wonder if that is how other people feel? I have felt tired so long, that having this energy seems a gift.

Was able to eat a scrambled egg and rice for breakfast. Swallowing the rice would have been more challenging in the past, getting stuck on the way down and needed much water to help it along. It is interesting to me that food actually seems more flavorful, even though I had previously thought that I was able to detect flavor naturally. Maybe I was wrong.

Dinner included a bit of pork steak. It was chewy. (No more burning tongue on the sides while chewing) I realize that part of chewing includes pushing the tongue forward and back against the palate. When my tongue was swollen, this added to the inability to chew effectively. Now that the swelling is going down, I was aware of the thinness of the tongue and it's ability to push forward and back.

I wonder if anyone has ever studied the bio-mechanics of the mouth. Well, now that I think about it, I am sure they have. When people have strokes, part of the therapy they get often has to do with such things. Therapists need to know how to teach a person to swallow, chew, talk, etc. So, someone must have studied it.

It really is odd to be aware of all these nuances that are normally taken for granted, that are considered to be done autonomously. It seems as strange to me to take note of these differences, as if I were consciously aware of how the stomach functions. In writing this, I realize it is sort of like the end of a northern winter. Storms and dark clouds all day every day. One suffers through it, gets used to it. It is the way it is. One forgets what it was like to have sunny days and spring flowers. Then, suddenly winter is over (the erosive oral lichen planus is improving) and spring begins to show itself.

When one has been huddled inside one's house throughout a long, dark winter, the new spring days can seem miraculously wonderful, even though it was but a year before, that springtime had made it's umpteenth appearance. No matter how many times one experiences springtime, it comes as if it were some new delight. Everything gets explored with wonder.

And so it is for me. I once had a normal healthy tongue. Then, it got sick, very sick. And now, it is getting healthy again. Even though it was healthy before, I am as joyed as if born anew.

Okay. So perhaps some of my exaggerated euphoria is due to the Prednisone. I admit it is a possibility. But, I just hope is it a natural delight and appreciation for finding joy in the little things.

Erosive Oral Lichen Planus

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